Positive aspects of the opening: Timing of the Muhammed Ali quote was timed well enough that the audience had time to read it all and it's transition on and off seemed to be received well by the audience.
The audience liked the match on action cuts of Noor skipping because they felt the "rhythm" of the skipping and also like the sound bridge between the Ali quote and the opening shot.
The handheld camera work not being constantly still was well received.
Use of existing locations and using real extras.
Real sound of radio instead of a soundtrack.
Negative Aspects: Muhammed Ali quote was too small and the audience struggled to read it clearly on an average Apple Mac screen.
The amount of match on action cuts of Noor skipping seemed a bit repetitive and that it could be trimmed down.
Wasn't obvious that Hashaem was interested in the boxing and the boxers boxing style and was instead interpreted as him being bored by the boxing.
Music from radio station jumped from the cuts in the editing.
Not enough shots in the jump cut scenes around the one minute mark.
Props and costumes in the mise en scene like the glasses and shoes removed the emphasism on Noor.
Diegetic sound didn't match in shots.
Improvements to be made: The Muhammed Ali quote proved to be difficult for audience members to read so I'm going to redo the quote in "Fireworks" because I had the max font size available in iMovieHD and they were unable to read it so instead i'm going to do it in "Fireworks" so it'll be easier for the audience to read.
Trim down the length of Noors skipping but keeping in the "rhythm" of her skipping to keep the audiences attention.
Attempt having the character Shani look at his watch so he there is more motive for him walking away, also a cut away adds more camera techniques. Try it out, if it dosn't work then take it out and find another and more effective way of implementing a cutaway shot.
Make it more obvious that Hashaem is interested in the boxing by using camera techniques that highlight the boxers abilities and/or style.
Create a wildtrack of a radiostation or music from speakers because it was well received that the radio was playing while filming but while editing the sound was cut up, a wildtrack will give the same effect but will be easier to manipulate in the editing.
More shots in the jump cut sequence, there should be a shot every 2 seconds or so.
Removing the glasses and shoes from the mise en scene. I'll keep the boxing equipment and Noor's jacket in the shot to show and highlight that this is her changing room but the shoes and glasses that didn't belong to her will be removed. The camera will focus more on Noor in shots and try to eliminate props and costumes in the mise en scene that take away emphasis on her.
Record a wildtrack so the diegtic sound matches better.
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